Living our life for someone else is one of the most significant poisons we consume as humans.
From childhood to adulthood, we’re built with the desire to grab validation from a parent is happy with a particular action of ours, driving the best car in the neighborhood, or having the highest number of follows in an industry.
But at what point do we focus on our self-validation & happiness when we’re chasing so much world-validation.
What happens, if for a moment, you were to focus solely on actions that made you happy?
This, for me, is how we determine who it is that we are. Because if you’re chasing actions that make others happy, you’ll slowly shift to become “them” for “you.”
Here are 4 steps, not-in-any particular order that assists you in focusing on your happiness to discover who you are.
Assume the freedom to explore who you are and what makes you happy. For once, remove the burden that you’ve been given to make others happy. Once you’ve accepted your freedom, the next steps become fun.
Go do everything. Literally, reset your mind, and go explore everything from restaurants you’ve previously ruled out to sports that you’ve never considered. I believe a reset is necessary, as often we rule out things before we give them a chance because of what those around us have said about it. For example, have you ever thought something was really cool but before you said it aloud, a friend dissed it, and you felt almost embarrassed to think it was cool?
As I started writing this section, I started laughing because I don’t think we realize how much impact those around us have on our lives, our happiness. You will need to rid your inner-group of negative and toxic people. These are the people that drive joy out of every crevice of every conversation and moment around them. These are the people that convert any and everything into unnecessary drama. Then, build an inner group of supportive people who are there for you being you
4. Magic Wand
When discussing the future or goals with anyone, I ask, “If I gave you a magic wand to define your perfect life in a world where money wasn’t a driving force, what would it look like?” I ask this question because we seldom chase the life we want, we pursue the life we need. So what if it were just that easy, and you could live in every way that you truly wanted to, what would it look like? Take a moment and think about this. Think about what your family would look like, your friends, your home, your career, everything.
I hope these four points assist you in discovering who you are, as I know, being happy for you is something that you truly deserve. If you’d like to continue on the path of developing self-happiness, I highly recommend purchasing Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill by Matthieu Ricard.